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Be Healed!

Posted by Mark David Manders Tue, 27 Feb 2007 06:10:00 GMT

She said, “Someone call the doctor, I think I’m gonna crash” He said, “Doctor says he’s coming, but you gotta pay in cash.”

I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon for a sore throat and congestion. Now I don’t normally go to the doctor unless I’m feeling puny. I have several friends who are doctors and most of the time I can talk to them and they’ll call in a prescription for me. But yesterday was different; my throat felt like razor blades and every time I coughed I doubled over in pain.

You know, it’s funny; men are a proud breed. As head of the family they carry with them an aura of invincibility, a false belief that they are indestructible. (In my line of work I call that believing a little too much in your own press kit.) But as soon as a man gets sick, what does he do? He goes running to his wife like a lost child, looking for sympathy and advice.

Now I’m not saying I went crying to Kathryn yesterday, I mean not exactly, but I did inform her of my condition in passing over the phone. After the third or forth time I mentioned my sore throat she finally said, “Alright, I’ll check with our insurance and find a doctor in the area.” I don’t know why, but a husband always leaves it up to the wife to schedule a doctor’s appointment. He’ll never do it himself; it’s as taboo as asking for directions. And no matter where or what time he has to be there he’ll find a way to bitch about it.

My appointment was set for four o’clock and I was told to be there fifteen minutes early to fill out the necessary paperwork. The kids got home from school a little after three. Jessica went over to a friend’s house, so I loaded up the boys and drove to the doctor’s office over by the Plano Medical Center. Of course, along the way I had to call Kathryn and complain about how long of a drive it was.

Once inside the doctor’s office I filled out the paperwork. I wrote my name down twelve different times, my date of birth ten, my social security number eight, and my home phone a whopping fifteen times. It wasn’t until page four that I began to write “same” in every line. I wish I would have thought of that earlier; it would have saved a lot of time.

At 4:30 my name was called and a middle-aged nurse led the boys and I back to a private waiting room. I would equate this to someone in a holding tank in county jail being given his own cell- you might be gaining a little privacy, but you’re still not going anywhere until you se the judge.

At 5:00 the nurse came in and took my vital signs. At 5:15 James said he had to go to the bathroom. When he returned Justin said he had to go. At 5:20 I decided I had to go. At 5:25 I finally walked down to the nurses’ station and asked how much longer we had to wait. She replied in a distinctive East- Texas drawl, “Well, honey, the doctor is running a little late.” I informed her that the boys had baseball practice at 6:00 and I didn’t know when my daughter was going to be dropped off at the house and that I really needed to get going. She nodded her head and mumbled something. I took it as an East Texas brush off (cedar, of course).

At 5:30 Doctor Chen entered the room. He examined me for about five minutes and then began to write prescriptions. I had a script for congestion, a script for my sore throat, and even a script for Chantix to help me quit smoking. He then gave a few samples of a cough suppressant tablet and a prescription for more if I needed them later on. I asked him if he could just give me a quick shot of penicillin. He replied that he could but then he’d have to keep me for another twenty minutes to make sure that I didn’t have an allergic reaction. I opted instead for the “Mega Z-Pac One-time Liquid Suspension” dose available at Walgreens.

After waiting an hour and forty-five minutes to see the “judge”, my fine was assessed in less than five minutes. All I had to do now was see the county clerk and pay court costs and then off to Walgreens to pay the fine itself. My court costs came to forty-seven bucks and change. That was my portion of the 33 % co-pay; insurance picked up the rest. I gave her forty-eight in cash. She didn’t have change; I didn’t care. My fine- $156.71 at Walgreens. Blue Cross and Blueshield covered everything except the Chantix to help me quit smoking. Guess they wanted to try and keep me as a customer for years to come.

The boys and I arrived home just as Jessica’s friend’s mother was dropping her off. The boys had missed their ride to baseball practice, so I sent them into the house for their gloves and off we went to Frisco. I ran by the McDonalds on my way and grabbed the kids whatever they wanted off the dollar menu so they wouldn’t get hungry.

When I got back home I crawled into bed and tried to take a little nap. Kathryn showed up shortly thereafter. She asked if there was anything I needed and I said, “Sleep”.

I did, on and off until now. It’s 5:00 and I just got up. I went and got Kathryn from James’s bed and brought her back to our room. She said my snoring had kept her up last night. In another hour the alarm clock will ring and she’ll get up for work. I’ll probably try to get in another nap before we leave for College Station this afternoon. She won’t have that luxury, but she never complains.